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| So i'm actually having a good day for once. So liz this entry is for u i'll try not to be negative. I finally got an A on my chem test. That was great after last weeks failed attempt. Jason lent my "Casing Amy" last night to get over Patrick with. Oh and I can official use his name since Jason knows I like him now. Hahahah. I can't say the movie really worked. If you want to know why go read the synopsis for it. Anyhow I now have an even bigger problem. I have created a monster. Not literally. But you remember that whole "hi" theory about catching someone's attention. Well it works too well now. I can't not pass Patrick without him saying hi. The, other day I ended up in a full conversation with him that I did not initiate. So my whole out of sight out of mind strategy I was going to use to forget about him can not work with this going on. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Yeah but other than that life is wonderful! How was that Liz?
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| Well this week has officially sucked! What happened to my whole new positive attitude. Well, lets start with the whole finding out my crush that i've had for the whole year turned out to be gay. It shouldn't be the end of the world because lets face it I have had to go through heartbreak many times before. Even when I broke up with Dave I wasn't suppose to feel bad but I did. I kept thinking I had made a mistake. This time had proven to be much worse though. I thought I had found someone that I had literally created in my head. He was older, mature, handsome, kind, hardworking, emotional, smart, in other words perfect. Why did he have to be gay! Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I feel empty actually and kind of hopeless like I just met the man of my dreams and now we can't be together ever! I keep listening to this song called, " One day we'll know." It really got to me. "Someday we'll know why I wasn't ment for you." Why is it we can't be with certain people that before we even get to really spend time with them we already can't be together. Maybe I'm being melodramatic but I think I have a right to be this time. I can't even look him in the face. I walked past his room this morning and didn't even look up I focused on the floor. He asked if I was alright and all I could say was "fine". What I really would have like to have said was that at the moment my heart felt like it had been ripped out and stepped on and it was because he was confused about himself. Alright I'm done venting. It's the weekend I'll rent a movie and feel better I suppose. Oh and Jason is leaving for the weekend so that doesn't help. Anyways too be continued. | | |
| Sorry Katie Liu, I know I should be updating this everyday but I just figured out how to work it. Hahaha.
So new theory on relationships here. Kyle has tried it but he quit after one day. So how is it we get the attention of someone we like. Say hi! It is that simple. But say it constantly everytime you see the person. Eventually start to ask them how they are then when u have done this enough start up better conversations after which you tell them you really enjoyed talking to them and should do it again sometime. Randomly, go leave a note on their door then to meet u for dinner. From here on out it is all about what you are willing to do to lock the deal. Oh and I'll have to keep u posted on how effective I have found this theory. So far step one and two are good to go. Course though circumstances my hinder my effort.
Oh and this is a blatent lecture to Kyle, keep talking to PJ. You may not get what you want right away but it sure is a start.
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| Xanga
Sorry had to start new xanga, managed to lose the last one. Don't know how. So what have we learned from the year 2004? Guys suck, school sucks, but 2005 is a new year and I have decided to start the year with a different attitude. I came back to Oakland on Tuesday and might you guess I run into first, but the infamous patrick. Hey it was cool, i have excepted that I really can't keep playing this game of is he gay or is he not. I think for the first time all year I was not nervous around him. We actually talked he is really a good guy to have as a friend. I do believe I missed kyle the most over break when I saw him he gave me a hugh hug and I thought I couldn't ask for a better friend to be so happy to see me.
Our floor is currently lacking an RA. So we have run a muck. The first night back we decided to take apart the beds in every room and refurnish certain rooms. Quite exciting. Anyhow, due to recent events I have taken up reading this book by Dr. Phil called "Life Strategies". It is wonderful. I started reading to learn how to read people and interact with them without coming off as the bad guy but also learning how not to be walked all over and stabbed in the back, and lied to. So far the book as been right about everything. I will have to keep and update on that as I read more.
So today, I came back from biology and read a full chapter in two hours. I hate this reading crap. I am so tired and I have to go catch a bus tomorrow bright and early. Later.
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